Lisa Marie Tutt

March 20 1987 - July 30 2004

You’d be nineteen if you were here

But why you’re gone still isn’t clear.

Your things are still all in your room

As if you’d be returning soon.

Spongebob waits there by the door.

Your shoes are still there on the floor.

Your friends are all young women now.

They’re working jobs or college bound.

Sometimes we see them and they say

We miss her so, wish she had stayed.

Your boyfriend’s in the Army too

And by the way, he still loves you.

You thought his love was not so true

And that some other girl he’d choose.

But near two years have passed on by

Still to your grave he goes to cry.

Your niece and nephews miss you too,

And talk of the things you used to do.

Your Mother’s going to be alright

And doesn’t cry so much at night.

She puts the flowers on your grave,

And scrapbook pictures tries to save.

And me, I’m still the same old Dad,

The same old routine like I had.

I work real hard to make a way

To pay some bills and pass the day.

I’m not as funny as before

My world’s not happy anymore.

I don’t let on the pain I feel

But deep inside the hurt is real.

Time passes by year after year,

Life goes on with seldom a tear.

One wish I have, a wish so clear

My wish most of all, I wish you were here.

~Dad

In Loving Memory

Lisa Marie Tutt

Beloved Daughter

of

Stephen and Sherri Tutt

March 20 1987 ~ July 30 2004

.

DADDY'S PRAYER

I've lived a life of hate & sin,

I don't know why you'd let me in.

But Jesus, help me trust in You,

So I can see my child again.

If it could be that she could live,

I'd take her place, my life I'd give.

You've shown me, Lord the reason why,

You gave your life & chose to die.

For there was a way for us to live,

You died in our place, new life to give.

No greater love has any man,

Than to lay down a life for the life of a friend.

So Jesus, keep Lisa surrounded by love,

And show her the wonders of Heaven above.

Give her a tour of the stars & the moon,

And tell her that Daddy will be with her soon.

WE WANT TO REMEMBER.

They're careful not to speak of her,

Or mention her by name.

They talk & talk & talk & talk,

And every one's the same.

They think that they will cause us pain,

To share a memory,

Of what she did or said

About the girl she hoped to be.

They do not know we want to hear,

And never can forget,

The time that she was here with us,

The joy and the regret.

They cannot know the emptiness,

From New Year to December.

They won't remind us even though,

We just want to remember.

THE SCREAM

The smile you see is not all of me,

For I'm not what I seem.

I laugh & smile but all the while,

My smile holds in a scream.

For when I see a little girl,

So innocent & free,

I think about my little girl,

Who died at seventeen.

And then the scream comes welling up,

From in my soul so black,

And so my smile must block it in,

And laughter hold it back.

I saw her born & watched her grow,

From child to blooming lass,

But through the years I couldn't know,

I'd have to see her pass.

The suffering within my heart,

I hide from all the world.

I do my job, I play the part,

And miss my little girl.

A song about a father's love,

So sweet with tenderness,

Awakes in me the horror of

My loss & loneliness.

So, if they say,"he takes it well,

He'll be OK, we all can tell.

How well his life continues on.

It's almost if she wasn't gone."

Remember that I'm not so sane,

Playacting, keeping up the game.

My nightmare life trapped in a dream.

You see, my smile holds in a scream.